Boom!

Lord, are you teaching me how to love them unconditionally?
After everything that they had done?
I'm not gonna say that they are totally wrong.
Maybe, they did not expect to do that.
Or they were just doing it without considering nothing.
Or am I just too sensitive for that?

I wish I could complain to them
Showing their mistakes by mocking them right on their faces.
Really. I'd love to.
C'mon! It is not easy to build a healthy relationship based on love.
I have tried to make myself been emptied just to keep all of us united as a family.
Even I had just known the meaning of true family by surrounded with you guys.
Sacrifice myself by pretending there are not any mistakes at all.
But, it seems getting worse.
I wanna put off this mask but uh umm... maybe not

Or maybe the mistakes comes from me.
My attitude? My words? My mind? Or what?
Not sure if I love them too much or I just love myself too much.

Is this self-centered?

However...
Now, You ask me to love as Jesus loved.
You never stop loving me whatever the condition will be.
Jesus never holds his love to others.
Sincerely, to share love as an introvert is hard.
You have to force yourself extremely leaving your comfort zone as well.
Well, I will keep your commandment applied.
The cost of being disciple is loving the others although it will kill you

Forgive us Lord..
We may fail to love each others.
When the reality comes different from expectation (re: painful), help me to see how great is Your love on Calvary.
Although maybe I have to be surrounded by you guys until the rest of my life.
Heal me. Pure me.
I forgive them as You have already forgiven me.
Teach me Your way.
Take over my control.

Resume Buku Choose The Life - Bill Hull

Sebuah buku yang diterbitkan tahun 2004 ini mengangkat isu fundamental dalam kekristenan, yaitu pemuridan. Secara tegas dinyatakan bahwa pemuridan menjadi panggilan gereja dalam Amanat Agung. Menghidupi pemuridan menandakan bahwa Anda secara sadar memilih Kristus lebih daripada apapun dan sungguh-sungguh menaruh percaya pada Kristus.

Namun, dalam menggenapkan panggilan yang mulia ini seringkali pemuridan kurang berjalan sebagaimana mestinya. Hal ini dapat dilihat dari kurang menggairahkannya kekristenan itu sendiri atau bahkan adanya anggapan bahwa pemuridan hanya ditujukan untuk beberapa kalangan tertentu saja. Suatu pemahaman yang jelas salah dalam konsep pemuridan.

Dedikasi serta pengalaman pribadi Bill Hull yang dituangkan dalam buku Choose The Life membawa kita dalam tantangan kehidupan pemuridan yang radikal. Suatu transformasi yang berbeda akan disediakan jika kita bersedia hidup dalam panggilan pemuridan ini. Mengalami pemuridan berarti mengalami transformasi pikiran, transformasi karakter, transformasi hubungan, transformasi pelayanan, dan transformasi kuasa pengaruh.

Buku ini ditujukan bagi siapapun yang merindukan suatu relasi yang diubahkan kepada Kristus dalam konsep pemuridan yang benar. Hingga akhirnya ketika hidup sudah ditransformasikan menjadi sebuah murid, kita pun dipanggil untuk melipatgandakan pemuridan ini dengan menjangkau lebih banyak orang dalam pemuridan.


Info Buku:

Judul          : Choose The Life
Penulis       : Bill Hull
Penerbit     : Literatur Perkantas Jawa Timur
Cetakan      : Kedua, Mei 2015
Harga         : Rp 45.000,00

Name Above All Names

"The Harvest is Plentiful but The Workers are Few."

Two days ago, Thy Word came to me as the confirmation of student ministry's service. At the moment, it is not really hard to make a decision whether I have to continue this service or not.

I also have desire to serve students because they, who served me when I was a student before, have already served me as well. It is kinda a debt. Why? They saw me as a lost sheep so that they came to save me from the great destruction. From the deepest of my heart, I wanna thank you guys so much. All of you have a special part in my life.

My background was dark. Church, prayer, service, or uh umm.. whatever, were just masks to hide my dilapidation as well. Well, time flies. Now, I am totally saved, and only by his grace, Cross is too much for me to be kept alone. That vision, uh umm.. the mysterious vision, drives me to share the gospel, especially for the students.

As I mentioned earlier, the 'our daily bread' came to delegate me continuing this service. When God said so, do I have right to deny his will when I have realized before that I have already been a disciple of God? It does not talk about me anymore.

Now, I'm asking God to fill my heart with compassion. "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd" (Matthew 9: 36)

Fill with compassion for all creation
Jesus came into a world that was lost
There was but one way that He could save us
Only through suffering death on a cross.

Rasa belas kasihan yang dimiliki Yesus adalah perasaan yang membuat hati Yesus bergetar hebatnya sampai isi perutnya Dia seakan mau keluar. Bagaimana ya mendapat perasaan sedemikian hebatnya? Perasaan dan perspektif dari Sang Gembala Agung yang melihat domba-domba-Nya tersesat dan terhilang. Maka dari itu, Kristus datang bukan untuk diri-Nya sendiri tapi untuk menyelamatkan mereka (kami) yang terhilang.

Great is Your passion for all the people
Living and dying without knowing You
Having no savior, they're lost forever
If we don't speak out and lead them to You

Mungkin ini yang menyebabkan perasaan Yesus tercabik-cabik ketika melihat manusia hanya hidup dan mati tanpa sempat mengenal Dia, Sang Gembala Agung. Akan selamanya tidak memiliki juruselamat dan tersesat jika bukan kita yang membawa mereka kepada Kristus. Mungkin, ini yang dilihat oleh mereka yang menyelamatkan gua dulu. Mereka tahu gua akan binasa dengan segala kebusukan dalam diri gua tanpa pernah tersentuh oleh Kristus.

God You are waiting, Your heart is breaking
For all the perople who live on the earth
Stir us to action, filled with Your passion
For all the people who live on the earth

"Sebagai rekan sekerja Allah di bumi, kita meyakini bahwa kehendak Allah akan terlaksana sementara di saat yang sama kita sendiri mengabdikan diri dalam pekerjaan apapun yang harus kita lakukan."

Ini aku, utus aku.


A Given Name

Thank God for today cell group! The application of today meeting is to write it down our quite time and share it to our group every day. Hope we will be faithful to keep our commitment today.

"The naming of children is as old as time. As Joseph wrestled with the news that his fiancee, Mary, was pregnant, the angel brought him insight from the Father about naming the Baby: "She will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins" (Matt 1: 21). Not only would Jesus be His name, but it would also explain the reason for his coming into the world: to take on Himself the punishment we deserve for our sin. His redemptive purpose behind the manger is wrapped up in the perfectly given Name above all Names."

In the beginning, the writer -Bill Crowder Jr.- writes that he was given the name by attaching "Junior" from his father name just because he was born in the same date as his father's birth date. It was an unique way to name someone!

What's more? In the 'Insight' section, it is written: "Jesus, the Greek form of the Hebrew word Joshua, means "The Lord saves" and describes what he came to do: "He will save His people from their sins (Matthew 1: 21). This phrase comes from Psalm 130: 7-8 where Israel is encouraged to "put (their) hope in the LORD... He himself will redeem Israel from all they sins" (NIV)"

According to http://www.behindthename.com/name/joshua , Joshua's meaning comes from the Hebrew name Yehoshu'a meaning YAHWEH is salvation. The name Jesus comes from a Greek translation from the Aramaic short from Yeshu'a, which was the real name of Jesus.

Well, I really grateful to know him as a redeemer and savior. May the name of Jesus will be glorified forever!!

Mirror Reflects Light

Listening to The Cries of Man

Beberapa minggu ke belakang jadi mendengar banyak jeritan kesedihan dan penderitaan dari banyak orang. Entah sok tau, entah sok ngerti, entah gimana, yang pasti penolakan jawaban dari Tuhan itu sakit. Sedikit terhibur karena tetap ada yang tetap memercayai hati Tuhan meskipun dibuat sedemikian rupa menyakitkan bagi dia. Tapi, ada juga yang akhirnya marah kepada Tuhan. Dan, ternyata ga sedikit yang marah ke Tuhan.

Well, I was there, facing your own wall. Even I don't really know how painful they are, I just can sit down and see them wondering why while trying to keep the faith on God.. 

Maybe I am too confident or what, but is it Your will, God, to serve the broken-hearted man after all you've done for me? The power of self-driving is so powerful for me. I have to admit that. However, do they have similiar struggles with me? Listening to their brokenness really drives me looking behind. 

God is so enermous! We can not always understand His way. "Trust is accepting what God sends into your life whether you understand it or not." said Timothy Keller on his Facebook

Tapi yah sampai sejauh mana kita memilih untuk bersikeras terhadap keinginan pribadi kita padahal jawaban doa kita sudah jelas berbeda dengan kehendak Allah?

Di sini lah seni dari kesetiaan kita kepada Allah diuji. Di sini lah hati kita dipersiapkan. Tapi, satu hal yang pasti, akhirnya manis. Firman mengatakannya demikian dan aku pun telah merasakannya juga.

.
.
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Mirror Reflects Light

Be refreshed again by 'our daily bread'.
As you see, we have to guard (carefully) our heart, otherwise we are one step closer to sin. I pointed out that the heart inside is basically the source of our attitude outside. It may be showed up when we are dealing with something.

However, am I really have a pure heart now?
When I read today devotional scripture from Ezekiel 36: 22-31, I just feel like that I have a rotten heart as they had.

Additionally, In Matthew 15:18-19, Jesus explained what pollutes person. "The things that come out from a person's mouth come from the heart, and this defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts - murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander" (NIV). Ouch! That is the condition from a heart separated from God - the situation ancient Israelites found themselves in when their sins forced them into exile (Ezek 36: 23).

Sometimes, I describe myself as a Pharisee. I have a good knowledge about this issue, but actually my heart is separated from God. That idol came to the surface again.

Last week, I discussed about 'New Life' in my cell group. We were all dead in our transsgresions and sins (Ephesians 2:1). We should have been perished! However, only by the grace of God, we are all saved (Ephesians 2:5).

Today devotional and my discussion last week in the cell group are related, right? In brief, I would like to say that having a new life is having a new heart. 

Intent of God for me to make me understand this? Maybe.

Okay, I thought that that was enough until I read today prayer

"Father in heaven, thank You that when we confess to You, You give us a new heart and a new life. I pray that the life I live reflects the goodness of Your gift and that others may see the difference a new heart has made in me."

:")

The Slow Walk

Sometimes the best way to be like Jesus is to sit quietly with a hurting friend.

It seems God is playing arround with me. Nice joke, but it does not funny at all. Even You are really desire me to do this? All that I know is to do your will. Is this will be going easy? Never mind. As long as I keep Thy Word in my heart. Once again, kill myself so that Christ may live in me.

Have to have patience
Need a long-suffering heart
Give ears to hear and a heart to pray

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy Faithfulness

O God my Father

Thou changes not

Thy compassions they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever will be

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see

All I have need Thy hand hath provided

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Lord unto Me!

Ryan Joseph Giggs.
Fans MU mana sih yang ga kenal Ryan Giggs?
Apa yang membedakan dia dari pemain MU lainnya?
Gelar?
Skill?
Nama besar?

Buat gua, yang buat gua sangat kagum adalah dia ga pernah menjual klub yang membuat dia sampe sekarang ini. Bergabung sejak 1990 hingga 2014, dia tetap mengenakan seragam kebesaran United dengan nomor punggung khasnya, 11. Petualangan 24 tahun bukan waktu yang singkat. Namun, setelah dia pensiun sebagai pemain, ia tetap tidak berpindah hati dari klub dan sekarang menjadi asisten pelatih United sekarang, Louis Van Gaal.

Setia

Hal ini yang bikin gua beli jersey MU dengan nama dia di punggung gua. Ditambah waktu gua beli jerseynya merupakan musim terkahir dia merumput bersama Setan Merah. Ditambah lagi, jersey itu masih pake patch emas jadi langsung gua beli dah.

Menikmati ibadah HUT Perkantas ke-44 dengan penghargaan kepada Pak Tadius Gunadi. Perjalanan 31 tahun melayani kaum intelektual dengan berbagai macam tantangan zaman bukan hal yang mudah. Dan sekali lagi gua kagum karena dia tetap kokoh pada panggilan Allah hingga ia mendapatkan visi bahwa sudah cukup waktunya untuk melayani di Perkantas.

Setia

Terlebih Allah.
Dari awal Allah menciptakan kehidupan di dunia, kematian Sang Anak, hingga kebangkitan dari kematian kelak, Dia tidak pernah berubah. Bahkan, yang justru berkhianat adalah ciptaan-Nya sendiri. Tidak sedikit orang yang meninggalkan Kristus karena berbagai alasan. Tidak sedikit orang yang menduakan Kristus dalam hatinya.

Setia

Suatu sikap yang amat sangat gua hormati dari dulu hingga sekarang. Karena sangat sangat ga mudah untuk tetap setia jika situasinya begitu menekan, sesak, berantakan. Adakah seseorang yang berani menghadap gua menyatakan bahwa ia setia seratus persen di hadapan Allah?

Gua sendiri pun melihat betapa seringnya gua mengkhianati Dia. Hanya Kristus, Sang Anak Manusia, yang mampu menyatakan kesetiaan seratus persen. Buktinya adalah Salib.

Kesetiaan juga menunjukkan keseriusan dalam berkomitmen. Teladan Kristus terlihat di taman Getsemani dalam gelap malam di mana kesetiaan-Nya sebagai Manusia diuji.

Pilih mati dalam kesetiaan atau hidup dalam pengkhianatan?

Sekali lagi, Salib adalah bukti kesetiaan.



Ketika gua menulis ini pun, gua bahkan dalam posisi sedang tidak setia di dalam Tuhan.
Perenungan apa yang menyebabkan Mother Teresa bisa menyatakan:

"God has not called me to be successful. He called me to be faithful."

Entahlah..
Yang jelas, orang yang telah teruji kesetiaannya mendapat hormat yang besar dalam hati gua. Dan hingga sekarang gua masih terus belajar untuk menjadi pribadi yang setia. Karena Allah telah terlebih dahulu setia, maka gua pun menikmati kesetiaan itu dan dimampukan untuk hidup setia.