Sahabat Kecil by Gita Tunggal Crescendo Singers League

Minggu, 31 Mei 2015

Cries of The Heart: Bringing God Near When He Feels So Far (Ravi Zacharias)


Lord, may I feel that feeling-happiness-, at least in my birth day?

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If only I knew Ravi, I would ask him to pray for me.
Unfortunately, that is impossible
This book is the best gift for my birthday from my Father, The One who love me most.

"Beberapa tahun yang lalu majalah Reader's Digest menampilkan sebuah artikel berjudul 'Waktu Kita Sendirian, Kita Menari.' Tulisan itu menjelaskan waktu kita sendirian, dan tidak ada yang melihat, kita semua memiliki ekspresi ritme pribadi. Kita mungkin tidak bisa menari, tapi itu tidak membuat kita berhenti mencoba. Dalam dunia pribadi kita, setiap kita bergumul dengan peperangan yang melelahkan hati. Bagi sebagian orang itu mungkin rasa sakit di dalam batin karena kesepian, bagi sebagian orang itu mungkin mematahkan semangat dan dihantui rasa bersalah. Dan bagi orang lain lagi mungkin pertanyaan, 'Mengapa saya tidak merasakan Allah padahal saya sudah melakukan semua hal yang saya tahu benar?' dan mungkin bagi yang lain adalah sumber dari semua pertanyaan, ' Siapakah Engkau, Allah?"

"Ada satu tempat di mana semua penderitaan dan pertanyaan manusia berkumpul. Tempat itu adalah hati Allah. Alkitab berulang kali menggambarkan penderitaan, kadang tangisan tanpa suara, tangisan dari mereka yang membutuhkan, memohon agar ada orang yang dapat memberi pengharapan."

"Keintiman dengan Allah adalah pengetahuan yang menjadi jembatan antara apa yang seseorang ketahui dengan apa yang orang rasakan."

"Dalam Mazmur, Daud (pribadi yang sangat aku suka karena kedekatan spritual dan emosional yang murni dan tidak ditutup-tutupi di hadapan Allah bahkan mungkin pribadi yang paling mewakili diriku sekarang) menggambarkan dirinya sebagai seorang yang terluka dan menangis di tempat tidurnya pada waktu malam. Daud yang sama bicara mengenai kebahagiaan yang datang waktu dia membawa tangisan itu pada Tuhan. Dengan keyakinan yang sama, marilah kita mulai perjalanan kita untuk meresponni tangisan hati kita. Kita akan terkejut mengetahui berapa banyak perasaan yang tertekan yang akan dibongkar. Waktu Allah berbicara kita tidak akan meresponi dengan berkata, 'Jangan katakan apa-apa.' Melainkan, kita akan tenang dengan sentuhan-Nya dan akan beristirahat dalam kenyamanan-Nya mengetahui bahwa Dia mau mendengar tangisan kita dan atang mendekat dalam kebutuhan kita. Kita juga akan rindu untuk berkata pada-Nya, 'Terima Kasih' "

Hahah kata-kata dalam pendahuluannya.. huft..

Seperti yang tertulis dalam kata pengantarnya "Doa kami buku ini menjawab banyak jeritan di hati Anda dan Allah akan menerimanya sebagai persembahan sulung bagi-Nya."

Next: 7 Chapters in 7 days.
Bapa, aku takut aku meninggalkan-Mu lagi. Terakhir kali aku mendapat banyak tekanan aku bahkan menghujat Engkau, membanting pintu dari hadapan-Mu. Sungguh aku ga mau lagi. Sekarang aku lebih memilih untuk berkali-kali mendapat sengsara daripada aku sekali lagi meninggalkan-Mu. Tolong jangan hanya manis di bibir

Jumat, 29 Mei 2015

Two Ways

Okay I will learn again to believe in your way. Now, if your way is different from mine, I hope that I will never leave You.

Sebenernya Firman kaya gini bisa dibilang ga gua banget. Berat banget kalo kenyataan yang ada bertentangan dengan kehendak pribadi.

However, who is the pilot now? Looking backward, my prayer was full of requests and most of them were about begging to God. Did I ask for your way, Lord? It seems that I have never been asking for your will for a long time.


Okay then, this is my request for You
Change my heart.
Pure my heart from any decay.
Teach me to become the person You desire me to be.
Help me to keep trusting You whatever the condition will be.
Forgive me, the sinner.

Kamis, 28 Mei 2015

Huft

I know I'm insane..
Torn apart..
Where shall I hide every single flakes of brokeness?
Where shall I hide from this judgement?
Where shall I lay myself down?

Lord, again and again, there are too much cries, pain, and sorrow..
I do apologize for disturbing You with my prayer.

Semuanya cuma keluhan dan jeritan. Ga ada pujian dan ucapan syukur. Ga ada kerinduan untuk mendengar kehendak-Mu. Terhilang.

But Lord...

Satu-satunya tempat dimana aku merasa nyaman hanyalah Engkau. Sungguh Engkau pribadi yang berbeda. Ga perlu takut ungkapin semua karena Engkau terlebih dahulu tahu semuanya.

Tempat yang sempurna

Engkau memang meminta ku fokus melalui sateku hari ini. Memang bener sih hal-hal yang menekan bisa membuyarjan fokus. Hanya ga segampang itu untuk bisa kembali utuh di dalam Mu.

Rekatkan dan dekatkan

Kalau memang jalan penderitaan adalah jalan yang Kau kehendaki, aku hanya mohon hikmat agar aku tetap setia.

Semakin aku mensyukuri Engkau adalah Allah yang memihara.
Providencia God

Minggu, 24 Mei 2015

Another Pure Love

Naro sini aja dah daripada tenggelam di chat gimane?

Samuel, my son, I just want to share my experience to you, and I hope this can be a lesson for you. When I was a student in Jambi, I was very busy and involved in many activities. During the day, I went to university for study, and in the afternoon till night I went from door to door to teach English privately to primary and secondary students. Additionally, during the weekend, I was busy with the P3MI activities. I spent almost all night outside, riding a motorbike or angkot. One day I fell sick, very-very sick, coughing and was really weak. I could not even stand and walk. Finally I found out that something wrong with my lung. I had to take medicines for 6 months, but it did not work very well because I continued to be very busy. I had to extend the medication for one year: daily injections, pills, etc. All those medicines were not cheap. Finally, the X-ray shows that there is a fleck on my lung (TB). I did not smoke, it was simply because of the night life-style. I think I was lucky because many other people died from TB. I did not have much time to rest. This fleck on my lung has given me many troubles especially when I wanted to study overseas, such as to Australia and Germany. I failed to go overseas simply because of the X-ray. Until now, the fleck is still there even though it is not an active TB. The recent one is when I applied student visa for my PhD in NZ, it was not an easy process. I had to undergo repeated X-ray and medical examination, which is also NOT cheap

Samuel, you are my son, my blood and flesh. You inherited what I have. Our body is not that stong and we have to take care of it carefully.

I don't want you to experience the pain as I had
Especially in current condition, in which I am away from home. What if you are very sick, and have to be hospitalized?
You as well as everyone else, need rest.
I really understand a man at your age as I was there, but noone can help you except yourself.
I don't want you to be sick, as it will make me very sad. Remember when you and Echa were hospitalized at very young age? It really shocked me.
I don't know how you respond to this advice, you may not like it. But the reason behind this advice is a love, I love you because you are my son.

At that time, I was so speechless. I can not say any single word for a while...
I know that I really lucky to have a father like you. Thanks dad! My prayer always with us

"Fear Not, I Will Help You"

"As you think about your situation, how do you see God’s role? Are you afraid to turn things over to Him—for fear that He might harm you?"

Probably yes. Maybe I have to admit that I have a great fear inside of me. Sometimes I just wanna give up. It's a hard thing to keep the faith in the middle of darkness. So that's why Thy word is like a lamp unto my feet. My will is to know everything instantly. But He wants me to walk step by step. Need. To. Be. Very. Patient.

Childish? Weak? Am I?
At least I know there is The One and only who keep me safe beyond my failures. Oh umm.. in fact too many failures I have done before.

"He is good and He is near, wanting to free you from life’s entanglements. You can trust Him with your life."

I'm waiting for your help. But, until your time comes, do not ever let me lose those hopes.
Strengthen me, Lord! Please, I'm begging...

"Ask the Lord to show you and to give you the faith to trust Him for His deliverance."

Amen,

Jumat, 15 Mei 2015

Gebet

It is already 2.38 A.M, but I find myself trying hard to sleep. There are too many noises outside. Slowly but sure, all these stuff are trying to kill me. I know that following Jesus will charge sacrifice. But, to be honest, I'm exhausted at the moment.

Who am I, Lord? Do You really trust me to carry your cross in whole my life? Does not it mean I will feel struggle for a long time? I wish I could let your cross away from me. Just a little moment.

But, why do I can not leave your cross behind?

"...Penderitaan kita tiada habisnya. Hanya hendaklah hidupmu sesuai dengan Injil-Nya..."


In every night I seek You. And I'm getting comfortable to be with You. Yes, only You who know myself, just as I am. There is nothing hidden for You. All of my heart, all that I am, You know every single detail of me. There is the reason is why I do not have to be someone else in front of You. I do not have to wear any mask.

Building a special relationship with You is my desire right now. Just pardon me if I sometimes live beyond of your love or I misinterpreted that kind of love. I really hope that I won't betray You anymore or even I betray you once again, please make me realize as soon as possible. I do apologize.

May my words doesn't only sounds nice in my mouth, but also in my heart.

Selasa, 12 Mei 2015

The Word of Unknown

Lord, who are You? Seriously, I ask "Lord, who are You?"

Kenapa? Kenapa Engkau berbeda dari semua pribadi lainnya? Kenapa hanya kepada Engkau aku dapat dengan bebas mengekspresikan sisi terdalam yang bahkan orang lain ga tau? Kenapa rasanya berbeda jika aku berdoa secara pribadi saat malam kaya gini?  Begitu terbuka.. Ga ada yang aku tutupi.. Ga ada rasa takut.. Siapa Engkau ya Allah? Salahkah aku bertanya kaya gini?

Hikmat.. Kebijaksanaan.. Kehendak Allah.. Kerajaan Allah..
Bukannya aku ga meminta itu terjadi lebih dahulu.. Tapi kenapa semakin aku memohon itu semua, semakin aku terus-menerus berelasi dengan Engkau, semakin aku menyadari hikmat-Mu tiada terselami? Salahkah?

Tuhan, aku akui aku ga lagi fokus kepada-Mu! Perang ini kembali berkecamuk.. Badai ini makin bergelora..Terbelenggu.. Terkutuk.. Tertekan.. Jujur saja rasanya aku ingin membunuh Engkau. Rasanya engga mau hidup dalam Engkau lagi. Tapi kenapa aku ga bisa? Aku hanya ga bisa Tuhan! Siapa Engkau? Salahkah?

Salahkah aku berdoa kaya gini Tuhan? Apakah aku lagi ga menghormati Engkau? Jika memang salah, tolong pulihkan! Buat aku kembali melihat Salib-Mu! Terangi hati terdalam ku dengan Injil-Mu! Bebaskan ya Allah!

Begitu banyak hal yang tak aku mengerti. Begitu banyak hal yang aku alami. Begitu banyak hal yang aku sadari.

Semakin kecil aku di hadapan-Mu ya Allah! Semakin aku butuh Pribadi yang kuat untuk menopang ku! Entah apa yang terjadi jika aku sebelumnya tidak diperkenalkan Kristus..

Rabu, 06 Mei 2015

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Satu hal yang gua masih terheran-heran dan takjub.. Pertanyaan yang ga akan ada habisnya gua tanyakan dan ga akan ada habisnya jawabannya..

"Kenapa Dia begitu baik bagiku sekalipun aku tidak setia pada-Nya?"

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I love Christian hymn songs so much! INDEED!

Apapun lagunya asal lagu-lagu hymnal tuh berasa banget. Lagunya sederhana, ga terlalu ribet, tapi maknanya sangat dalam. Apalagi kalo aransemennya dibikin kaya gini. Gimana ga makin jatuh cinta? Hahahah (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KmE5p2n85s)



Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus :)
Take a look at verse one!

O soul, are you weary and troubled?No light in the darkness you see?There’s light for a look at the Savior,And life more abundant and free!



Pertama kali tahu pas Paskah Smansa 2015.. Makin kesini makin dapet banget lagunya..

One of many reason why I glorify his name! Gadol Elohai :)