Boom!

Lord, are you teaching me how to love them unconditionally?
After everything that they had done?
I'm not gonna say that they are totally wrong.
Maybe, they did not expect to do that.
Or they were just doing it without considering nothing.
Or am I just too sensitive for that?

I wish I could complain to them
Showing their mistakes by mocking them right on their faces.
Really. I'd love to.
C'mon! It is not easy to build a healthy relationship based on love.
I have tried to make myself been emptied just to keep all of us united as a family.
Even I had just known the meaning of true family by surrounded with you guys.
Sacrifice myself by pretending there are not any mistakes at all.
But, it seems getting worse.
I wanna put off this mask but uh umm... maybe not

Or maybe the mistakes comes from me.
My attitude? My words? My mind? Or what?
Not sure if I love them too much or I just love myself too much.

Is this self-centered?

However...
Now, You ask me to love as Jesus loved.
You never stop loving me whatever the condition will be.
Jesus never holds his love to others.
Sincerely, to share love as an introvert is hard.
You have to force yourself extremely leaving your comfort zone as well.
Well, I will keep your commandment applied.
The cost of being disciple is loving the others although it will kill you

Forgive us Lord..
We may fail to love each others.
When the reality comes different from expectation (re: painful), help me to see how great is Your love on Calvary.
Although maybe I have to be surrounded by you guys until the rest of my life.
Heal me. Pure me.
I forgive them as You have already forgiven me.
Teach me Your way.
Take over my control.